Inner Marriage: Changes in Relationship to Others and to Self

The Sacred Inner Marriage 

by Daniel Jacob

(Daniel and I collaborated and did many workshops and blog shows together from 1996 until his death in 2019. I honor him daily for his contribution to my spiritual journey.)

The innate panic that comes along with these next levels of our soul’s evolution must be our center of attention if we’re ever going to get anywhere in truly understanding this subject.

The fact is we’re moving from a dualistic frame of reference to what carl Jung referred to as the “great sacred marriage” which takes place inside the heart and soul of every person—regardless of gender. When the sacred marriage begins to occur, all the stress dynamics and “he said/she said” or “he did/she did” of the external world gets transferred to the inner planes of each person’s own soul. Indeed, each of us marries the masculine and feminine side of self. We still get to enjoy 3d separation, but we no longer take what appears in 3d as the true view of what’s going on. Instead, we process inwardly, and we experience outwardly so that vividness and true insight can finally be birthed within us.

Once the sacred marriage is complete, there is no more room for victims or persecutors. There is no more room for unrequited love, no more room for resentments, frustrated desires, or externally based complaints. There is only self, and the manifold reflection of that multidimensional self in a 3d world format.

Every male we see is a tiny reflection of some aspect that is playing out within that oneself. Every female wears for us a tiny flicker of the intuition/emotion that is longing to be known and recognized inside each of us. The more these “key mirrors” tend to upset us, either positively or negatively, the more they represent something vital that each of us needs to realize about our inner terrain.
When a woman cries out “are there any men in this world who are willing to commit to a truly intimate relationship?” what she is truly saing is: “I’m not quite ready for depth and intimacy right now. And the many “players” I attract into my life are evidence of my need to admit that.” there is no condemnation, once the sacred marriage is in motion. There is only realization of what’s true about us in a given moment of time.

When a man cries out, “Where are the truly playful women in my universe, the ones who are willing to ride the waves of each now moment, rather than demanding a signed “contract” of “foreverness” before they’re willing to follow the obvious attraction that exists between myself and them?” What he’s really seeing is his own dependent side, which yearns for personal freedom, yet longs for someone who will always be there if and when he needs her. In essence, he’s looking for the mother who abandoned him in some way, long ago. Because no one really wants to admit that he’s looking for a mother/lover, he will continuous project out those feelings of dependence onto the women who enter his life, opting to run away if there is any sign of disapproval or abandonment in sight. In essence, he rejects her and leaves before she gets a chance to leave him.

And all of this, 100% of this, is about self. Both sides of an evolving, awakening self, as they seek to find each other in the foggy mist of forgetfulness.

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