We oftentimes get our energy plugged up within a relationship to the other even though we realize the other is US. Our energy becomes short circuited or contained, when in fact, it would help us to move through our erotic/eros nature to come to a point of release of that same energy. The whole universe, the energy of each part of the body moves both internally and externally, subjectively and objectively, contracting and expanding, inhaling and exhaling, and pulsating inward to the nucleus of the inner psyche and outward to all other selves and dimensions. The freer the energy movement becomes, in keeping with its own integrity and cohesion, the more intense becomes the life and the fuller becomes the consciousness, hence the full living within and between multidimensional comprehension.
More recently, we have been looking at dialogical relationships which is a coined term by two authors John Scudder and Anne Bishop in a small book called Beyond Friendship and Eros.
Giving us new paradigms to consider, they say:
“We will explore possible nontraditional personal relationships between men and women and give concrete examples of how some of these possibilities have found fulfillment. We will ask our readers to entertain the possibility of developing new relationships with persons to entertain the possibility of developing new relationships with persons of the opposite sex rather than the traditional ones based on sex and romance. The primary question this new direction raises is not, “Are they friends or lovers?’ but ” Is their relationships personal or impersonal?” Relationships that focus on fitting the designated ways of society are often impersonal—even when they are called personal relationships such as friends or lovers. In personal relationships, as we will show, persons respond to each other as they are present to each other and in ways that presence calls forth, rather than by following the DICTATES OF SOCIETAL ROLES. When people attempt to relate to each other personally within the confines of societal structures, they often find their personal relationships restricted and truncated by these structures. Even those who initially do not feel their relationship restricted by traditional structures often look to their personal relationship as it matures, rather than to society, to define the meaning of that relationship.”
The authors go on to explain that many artists …i.e. CS Lewis and Ralph W Emerson engaged with someone who also delved into this magical dialogical type of relationship.
Examples of how those contrast:
“New lovers, traditionally, have assumed that their relationship is unique. It is well established in the literature of love that this feeling of uniqueness is characteristic of new love. New lovers proudly proclaim that their love is like no other love. Those who experience love that is not culturally recognized are not given to such proclamation. They fear that they are alone (MOI) and fervently hope that others experience what they are experiencing. They are uncertain about the meaning of their relationship and are reaching out for help in making sense of its meaning.”
Dialogical Love and Abundant Being are the concepts we will explore here.
Dialogical love is first experienced as abundant being that occurs when two people are together in a way that enhances both of them. This abundant being is rarely experienced directly. It is initially recognized by its accompanying sense of ecstatic fulfillment. Later when the couple reflect on their experience, (and the authors point out that this through the years …studied only those relationships that went beyond three or four years most of them 20 years of duration)they usually felt a sense of “Wow! I was completely there in that conversation. My horizons were expanded, and I felt myself lifted into another level of being. time just flew! In truth, I was unaware of the passage of time.
Abundant being alters the meaning of time by affirming the worth of moments shared together. Time lived well together seems to fly. Often when we are engrossed in thought and conversation on a long trip, time first appears when the city limit sign announces that we are at our destination. Then one of us will comment, “Do you mean we’ve been driving for hours?” Time vanishes when shared love and mutual pursuits become one.
Abundant being doesn’t come according to the PREDICTABLE schedules of clock time. When it comes, you need flexible time to seize the moment. Relationships that foster abundant being require only not only much time together but time that’s highly flexible, allowing a great deal of freedom to respond and cultivate possibilities that appear. The need for flexible time makes cultivation of relationships of dialogical love difficult for those who are not married to each other. But the abundant being that appears with such rich relationships makes wrestling with time constraints well worth the effort. When time vanishes for a couple who are living in the fullness of time, it reappears when the demands of schedule time intervene. There is a sense in which the joy of time together is accompanied by a clock ticking in the background.”
Exploring this dialogical concept of relationships, we want to explore more fully the Eros/Psyche myth and how it applies to this present change in paradigms, altering relationships from what they have been into where they are now. We all have erotic natures which we tend to split off from our psyche, however we are coming to a point in our lives, where this EROS must fit with our own PSYCHology and move forward, unblocking the energy that will fulfill us ultimately as ONE.
The Myth of Us – Eros and Psyche
It is wrong to think that Love comes from long companionship or persevering courtship. Love is the offspring of a spiritual affinity, and unless that affinity is created IN A MOMENT, it will not be created in years or even generations.“The Broken Wings,” Kahlil Gibran
We are discussing, in depth and detail, the realistic, third dimensional relationship to the myth of Eros and Psyche, as well as the practicality of bringing the myths into reality, the reality of you and me, the US. In a relationship there is only ONE of US; the ability to see this demands an understanding of the beauty and the beast that lies within. We bring people into our lives to show us the way, whether it be within relationships, acquaintances, or significant others. There are many myths that represent the story of relationships, however, we are going to delve into the myth of Eros and Psyche and apply it to our reality here and now.
The story of Eros and Psyche is complex, but to simplify it, we will tell the myth in its simplicity and apply some of the concepts in later writings always to return to the basic premise of this mythological magical relationship between Eros/Cupid and Psyche. It is the story about how love and soul unite and spirituality and physicality become ONE.
Psyche was the daughter of a King and one of three daughters, who was beautiful, adored and mortal, so beautiful that she was beginning to oust the immortal alchemical goddess, Aphrodite. Aphrodite, of course, would have none of this, being the Goddess of Love and Beauty, so she sent her son Eros to make Psyche fall in love with the ugliest man in the world and marry him here enters the beast. Eros, after seeing Psyche, fell in love with her, pricked himself with his arrow and fell in love with her immediately erased all he had done to her and went away. Aphrodite, realizing that her son had not carried out his orders, cast her own spell on Psyche. Psyche was taken from her people, destined to marry a monster, leaving her people in distress and her parents wailing in the face of the FATES. The FATES had told her parents to take her to a mountain and leave her to the Beast. Eros, from this point on in the story, always stayed hidden, yet, at the same time, helped Psyche and always intervened on her behalf, unbeknownst to her. He remained in her life as the tone of Eros, the voice of mystical and spiritual merging, yet she did not know this and felt she was under the spells of Aphrodite, destined to be married to the monster Beast.
Psyche was able to glance at Eros, thinking he was the Beast, and at that moment, saw his godliness and his beauty and fell deeply in love with him. She accidentally spilled the oil from her oil lamp on him and he awoke to find her in deep grief and sorrow. Seeing her in grief, he flew out the window and for the first time she felt truly abandoned.
From this point on, Aphrodite realizes that there are tasks and tortures that Psyche needs to go through as she will not relinquish her son, Eros, to this contestant for the most beautiful in the world.
Through the story, there are tasks and Herculean types of maneuvers that Psyche must prove to win the love of Eros and merge him as a husband/lover. Zeus, the God of Olympus, finally bestowed upon these two his good graces; giving Psyche the drink of the gods, ambrosia, to create her as an immortal so that she could marry Eros and unite with him on Olympus. This is not the end of their struggles to attain an enchanted life, however, for our purposes, it is where we want to begin our more realistic story of relationships and the struggle between Eros and Psyche within.